Why do younger men love older women – and how can you snare a young buck? Age gap romance is all the rage. Look at Hollywood, where younger men have replaced miniature pooches as the hip accessory
Count 'em: Demi Moore is 16 years older than Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria eight years older than Tony Parker and Reese Witherspoon four years older than the delectable Jake Gyllanhaal. Over the hill? Not a bit.
As in celebland, so in real life. In the US, almost one-third of women aged 40-69 are dating men who are 10 or more years their junior.
How are these older women snaring their fit youthful suitors? How do they hang onto them? Read on to find out.
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Why younger men dig older women
1. Great sex
The older woman-younger man couple is a sexual match made in heaven.
Men's sex drive is stronger when they're younger, while women's peaks in their 30s and doesn't budge for another 20-odd years.
Fertility (or lack of it) plays a role too. Women don't always want men for their sperm. A woman who has had her family or who is past child-bearing age can have great sex without fear of pregnancy.
What the daters say: 'I love the sexual confidence of older women,' says Chris, 32. 'My last girlfriend was six years older than me, and my current partner is 10 years older. She looks young, so I've got the best of both worlds!
'Older women seem to have fewer hang-ups about their bodies. They know that sex isn't just about lying there looking fit; it's about loving what you're doing. Older women just seem to enjoy it more.'
2. Great conversation
As women grow older and become more sexually confident, we also tend to become more intellectually confident – and competent. In short, we're more fun to talk to.
What the daters say: 'I recently had a fling with a guy who was only 23,' says Sarah, 36. 'He's a musician, and he'd never been able to talk about music with girls his age. We'd sit up all night discussing David Bowie albums. He was amazed that a woman could talk about these things.
'In the end I needed someone with a bit more experience, but the fling gave me loads of confidence. Younger men think we're interesting and cool, because we've lived and travelled and we can talk about all sorts.'
3. Independence
Ask any man why he ditched his last girlfriend, and the word 'clingy' is likely to come up. The solution? Date a woman who has her own life, friends, career and home.
The Bridget Jones myth has done a great disservice to women over 30. Women do not all grow up with baby-hunger in their eyes, or with a need to settle down. More and more of us are going our own way, and men love it.
What the daters say: 'My previous girlfriends were younger than me,' says Jamie, 28. 'I liked being around them, but after a while I felt suffocated. It's like they couldn't enjoy themselves unless I was around, and that was too much responsibility. I like my space. I think most men do.
'Now I'm seeing a woman who's 35, and it's fantastic. She has her own place, and she loves her career and friends. Her social life doesn't always include me. She doesn't need me, she wants me. That really turns me on.'
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Part II: Traps to avoid
1. The money trap
Ryan, 29: 'My girlfriend is 39 and we've been together five years. I want to live together, and she doesn't. She bought her own place years ago. She's scared that we'll break up and I'll grab her money. That's not why I want her!'
What to do: Stop making assumptions. A younger man doesn't necessarily want an older woman for her money. Discuss your fears before making decisions.
2. The stereotype trap
Old assumptions die hard, and they can sabotage relationships. Chris, 25, says: 'I was seeing a 38-year-old woman for two years, and I really fell for her. But my friends constantly made fun about my 'old lady'. I couldn't handle it and neither could she, so we split up.'
What to do: Stop being so concerned about other people. They're not in this relationship. Show friends and family that you're perfectly suited, and the age gap will quickly fade into the background.
3. The sex gap
Lucy, 47: 'Actually, younger men aren't great in bed. They may be able to get it up more, but that's not what good sex is about. They just don't have enough experience to please you.'
What to do: What he lacks in experience he probably makes up for in enthusiasm. So show him how to please you. Tell him what feels good. He'll love that you're turning him into a sex god – and you get to reap the benefits.
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Part III: Age-gap love dictionary
The older women-younger men trend has given us a whole new lexicon of love...
Cougar bait (noun)
An attractive, confident woman over 40 who only dates younger men and isn't looking for a relationship – she enjoys the trill of the hunt!
Need to know: It's easy to find fans of older women on dating websites. Just look for the fit young chaps who give an older age range in the 'what I'm looking for' bit of their dating profile.
MILF (acronym)
'Mother I'd Like To F**k.' Sexually alluring mums – single, married, divorced, widowed, whatever. Spin-offs include GILF ('Grandmother I'd Like to...')
Need to know: The term came to prominence after the movie American Pie.
Oedipus complex (noun)
Freud's theory that all men subconsciously want to sleep with their mothers and kill their fathers.
Need to know: Someone better tell Ashton Kutcher's dad.
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